Why, "Binders full of women," is offensive

There are some aspects of language which convey a mindset. Take, for example, the word, nigger. A white person who uses this word can be perceived as having a certain mindset toward people of color. Evocative of a time when whites thought themselves above blacks, better than blacks, disdainful of blacks, and all of the other prejudices one thinks of when one hears the word, a person who makes use of this word is perceived of as not having left this thinking behind to embrace a new era, but locked in an offensive past.

For the same reason, when a man refers to his, “binders full of women,” as Mitt Romney did in last night's debate, it is a telling phrase which reveals not the forward-thinking mindset of a person enlightened with the concepts of equality, but a mind which thinks of women as objects in need of handling, mollifying, quantifying, and being subject to ownership. It is not a slip of the tongue; it is a revealing peek into the psyche of the speaker.

This type of thing should be erased from the language, as should words like, “Man,”and, “Mankind.” "Humans,”  and, “Humankind,” are more enlightened terms. And phrases such as , “our women,” when a man refers to the female members of a group to which he belongs, are also offensive. A better phrasing in this instance would be, “the women of (insert club, group, or organization).” Of course, it is hard to change one’s speech when one is stuck in a certain mindset. 

Language can be revealing.

                 

We don't fear you, Mr. Limbaugh

Rush Limbaugh has issued a fear-of-losing-more-sponsors,-after-all,-money-talks apology to the young woman he called a slut. He also stated his view of what the 'other side' must think, "And now, at the end of this week, I am the person that the women of America are to fear the most."

No, Mr. Limbaugh. Your self-aggrandizement is pitiable. Women don't fear you. In fact, we don't give you a second thought. We tuned you out long ago and your buzzing is nothing more than a minor irritation, like that of a fly dying on a windowsill.

Mr. Limbaugh, you are not feared by us, you are nothing to us.

Being Female

I belonged to a religion for eighteen years, almost everyday of which I felt caged or different because I didn't quite fit that religion's definition of femininity. I was constantly told what being female meant and what my life would hold for me, and that I would like it. I was living someone else's idea of what my life should be because I am female.

I hold to no religion now. I am my own person, or at least I am learning how to become my own person. It takes a while to flush out the dogma.

Here are a couple of quotes that I've come across lately that echo my sentiments, but say it so much better than I could. The first is from a couple of YA authors who write strong female characters. They were on a panel from which an attendee drew a list of advice on how to make a kick-ass Young Adult heroine. Here's one piece of advice:

Ignore orders from both sides.



[Tamora] Pierce discussed how upsetting it was for her, who grew up during the feminist revolution in the ‘70s, to arrive at college and have women saying that “real” feminists were gay or celibate. (“I was neither,” she quipped.) This debate extends to her female characters, as mentioned above. “The whole point of what we did was giving every woman the power to choose how they wanted to live,” she said. “Not to present only restrictions on women, but to present the possibilities that come from being female.”

“The thing about being female,” [Esther] Friesner said, “is that it makes us think there’s only one way to be female. I’ll bet there’s at least two or three, or six, different ways in this very room. There is no one female… Sometimes the biggest battle is ‘This is what you should be doing,’ handed down by the feminists or by the anti-feminists.”

And here is the second quote, from Steve Jobs' 2005 commencement address to the graduating class at Stanford University:

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

Don't be trapped by dogma. Trapped is exactly how it feels, and if you feel that way, start asking questions and then find the answers out for yourself.

The Pink Sari Gang

There is a gang of women in India who have taken matters into their own hands.

Tired of officials turning a blind eye to crimes against women, corruption, and caste prejudice, these women have banded together under the leadership of Sampat Pal Devi in order to shame wrongdoers and, at times, beat sense into bad husbands and corrupt officials.

They number in the hundreds, carry big sticks, and are earning the grudging respect of officials in Bundelkhand, a desperately poor region in Uttar Pradesh.

You can read about the Gulabi (which means "pink") Gang in these two articles:

India's 'pink' vigilante women from the BBC News and,

The pink vigilantes: The Indian women fighting for women's rights from the Daily Mail online (and from which article the above picture comes).

I wish this would happen all over the world. One cowering woman is easy to make submit, 700 women with big sticks is another thing altogether. And when they come knocking on your door to ask why you've just beaten your wife, things may not go your way.

Personally, I think the Amazons of myth were real and that they began in a similar manner - a group of women who banded together, tired of being treated poorly.

"Well-behaved women seldom make history."

The quote above was penned by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich while writing an article about notable women in American history. I believe it was meant to underline her particular style of getting to the meat of history by looking at the lives of ordinary people and gleaning the rich clues left there for the talented eye to see.

From Wikipedia:

Ulrich's innovative and widely influential approach to history has been described as a tribute to "the silent work of ordinary people" -- an approach that, in her words, aims to "show the interconnection between public events and private experience."

One of my favorite books is written by Ms. Ulrich. It's called A Midwife's Tale: The Life of Martha Ballard, Based on Her Diary 1785-1812.

It's a fascinating look at this ordinary woman's life, interpreted deftly by Ulrich with attention to detail and a keen eye toward viewing the mundane not as inconsequential, but as essential stitches in the background of the historical tapestry. Many other historians overlooked Martha Ballard's diary only for the reason that it was an ordinary woman's account of ordinary day-to-day things, nothing of particular value. Well, I am certainly glad that Laurel Thatcher Ulrich recognized the trove of information in this ordinary life. And I'm not the only one to think so - her book won a Pulitzer.

So, although it may be true that well-behaved women seldom make history, they are the ones who live it. Indeed, I think they are the quiet backbone to history.

I'm not advocating quiet lives for women - heavens no! I'm just saying quiet lives shouldn't be ignored. Quiet can be big in its own way.

Thanks, Laurel, for showing us that.

Now read the book - and then go out and misbehave : )

Ayaan Hirsi Ali makes surprise appearance at the Anisfield-Wolf Book Awards

A quote from today's Cleveland Plain Dealer (the full article can be found here):

"Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a feminist detractor of Islam and a former member of the Dutch Parliament, is lauded in some quarters and lambasted in others for rejecting her Muslim heritage and condemning the religion's treatment of women."

Apparently it was kept secret that the Anisfield-Wolf Book Awards committe had honored her with the prize for best non-fiction book for her memoir Infidel. The secret was kept to protect her and the audience members. When the surprise announcement was made and she walked on stage, the audience gasped and then rose in applause.

A quote from her speech:

"Bigotry is not only a white man's disease. It's a universal disease, and the only way to get rid of it is through self-examination. And there is not self-examination if there is no self."

The Plain Dealer reporter (book editor Karen R. Long) noted that this quote was in reference to "what Hirsi Ali sees as the subjugation of women in the Muslim World."

After her friend and documentary film collaborator, Theo van Gogh was killed by extremists in Amsterdam in 2004 - left with a death threat aimed at her stabbed to his body - Ayann Hirsi Ali has been living in isolation.

Subjugation is sometimes committed in God's name, treated not as subjugation, but as God's will. This sort of treatment is not called what it is, but its name is turned around and lauded as reverential. Those who are subjected to it are deemed so special they have to be taken care of, placed on a pedestal for their own good, for their own protection, along with harsh penalties for stepping off of that pedestal.

That's the excuse given for withholding the respect and dignity with which every person should be able to live their lives, from women. The "reverence" is really an objectification, a thingification, an excuse to treat women badly, in God's name, or just because it feels good.

And if you think it's only to be found in the Muslim world, you are vastly, sadly, sorely mistaken.

Is Rowling not taken as seriously as Pullman because she's a she and he's a he?

This article in The Guardian is an interesting read. Are women fantasy writers not taken as seriously as the men?

It's something to think about, but personally, I don't like Phillip Pullman's stuff (just a matter of taste, and I have a few problems with his world building, and his writing - but I know lots of people really like his stuff). I do really like J.K. Rowling's stuff. There are some who nit pick at the quality of the writing too, but that's a whole other discussion, and if you're interested you can follow it here and here.

Another Recommended Book

I just finished reading Escape by Carolyn Jessop. It details her life in, and escape from, the FLDS – the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints. The FLDS have been in the news lately; they are the polygamist colony which was raided in Texas and had over four hundred of their children taken away. Carolyn was able to escape them in 2003, when they were still in Arizona and hadn’t yet moved a substantial number of adherents to Texas.

Her tale is harrowing and almost unbelievable, but believe it.

The FLDS is an offshoot of the Mormon (LDS, or Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) church. I used to be a Mormon myself until I smartened up and left the fold. The Mormon church is nowhere near as goofy as the FLDS, but once a person becomes part of any group which exerts control over their life, it’s a slippery slope and not a far tumble into strange realms of belief.

Don’t ever let anyone think for you. Question everything, and don’t let anyone or anything stymie your search for answers.